Stay With Me
by Sushi1976
Summary: "My name is Spencer Carlin and I really don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be anywhere near where I am today. I want to get into a car and drive till I either reach a destination, or run out of gas"
1. Chapter 1

_I Do Not Own South of Nowhere_

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**_A/N: Hey Everyone, until I know if I am Writing a Sequel to Here & Now I thought I would put this story up for all of you. I hope you enjoy reading, and please leave your thoughts I love to read all of your reviews. - Sushi _**

**Chapter 1**

I was sitting outside of the school waiting for my brother to come get me. He was late like usual and this time I didn't really care. Our parents were in court getting a divorce; it seems that my mother decided to have an affair with some guy from her work. Apparently they "tried" to work on their marriage, but I think they just gave up. My mother is a doctor, my father is a Social Service Worker, my brother goes to the community college, and I'm a 17 year old stuck in high school.

My name is Spencer Carlin and I really don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be anywhere near where I am today. I want to get into a car and drive till I either reach a destination, or run out of gas. My dream spot is Canada. I want to go because when i went there to see a friend, she showed me the most beautiful scenery. I even got to see real wild life, and go on her family farm. Being stuck here in Ohio sucks, but one day I will go to my dream and finally be happy.

"_**You're gonna be a shining star, with fancy clothes, fancy car-ars.**_

_**And then you'll see, you're gonna go far."**_

Hey Spence sorry I just got out of a session, what's wrong I can feel your sadness from here lol – A

I want to leave and never come back, is that so sad? – S

Todays the day eh? And don't worry you will break away..evetually – A

Yup, mom wouldn't even look at me this morning when she left – S

Are you sure it's the divorce and not what you finally told here...sorry – A

I don't even know anymore Ash, all she cares about his her work – S

...or the mystery man – A

Ya maybe. Thanks for that chat – S

Anytime, Glen there yet? –A

He is pulling up now, chat tonight? – S

Of course – A

Always? – S

Forever – A

Ashley is a whole other story, but i guess she is part of my story. She is the friend I mention that lives in Canada. We met over the same interest in the show South Of Nowhere, and we started to email each other and well we sorta dated. Have I mention she is 20 years old, and I'm 17. Now you see why we "sorta dated", but she is the one person I fell in love with and it hurt like a bitch when we ended our relationship. Now we just text while she is traveling around helping at risk teens, and visiting places that her father and her wanted to see together. Ashley will come visit me when she can, but mostly she tries to stay away because it hurts to much for us to be so close to each other.

"Yo sis you coming?"

"Finally you get here, jeez"

I got up from the steps and walked over to his truck, that needed to be replaced by a new one. My brother will not give up his truck, nor will he ever get a new one. When my brother was in high school and on the basketball team he got into some trouble. He found there was more pressure then ever when it came to picking a college, and getting look at by scouts. He turned to drugs, and i almost lost him that year. After a few months at home and my father helping him, he got back on his feet. My father kept him clean by helping him fix this old truck, thats why this truck is one thing he won't get rid of.

"How was school, did you learn anything good"

"Not really, but i found out that one of the cheerleaders are pregnant"

"Like who?"

"Madison"

"Mean girl Madison, top head leader Madison, the hotty Madison"

"Yes that Madison and apparently her boyfriend is a college freshman"

"That sucks wow I wish that guy the best of luck"

"Same. How was classes for you, did you talk to that pretty girl in your Fridays classes?"

"She has this stupid boyfriend who is such a fucking jerk, like he pushed this little freshman who just happen to look at his girlfriend"

"What a jerk, so that makes a no?"

"Nope"

We pulled into our driveway and noticed there was a moving van outside. I looked over at Glen and I knew what he was waiting for, to see who was leaving mom or dad. It didn't take long to see that it was our father who was leaving, we saw him give some of the stuff to the packing guy. He looked over at us with hurt in his eyes. It didn't take a genius to know that we weren't going with him, well at lease not me. Glen on the other hand could, he is an adult and lives in a dorm on campus.

"Don't make me go in there Glen"

"You have to, but I'll stick around just in case okay?"

"Thanks"

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R&R Please!


	2. Chapter 2

_I do not own South of Nowhere_

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**Chapter 2**

When we got out of the truck our dad came over and gave us both hugs. We stood there watching the movers; I don't think he knew what to say to us. I just shoved my hands into my pockets and waited for our father to tell us some lame excuse to try to make this better.

"I'm moving to an apartment close to my office, but you guys will be able to come see me whenever you want"

"I'm taking that as I'm staying with mom"

"Your mother and I thought it would be best if you didn't move, you need a stable home and we didn't want to pull you into all of this."

"Right because this isn't affecting me already"

"Spencer we aren't trying to hurt you, sometimes parents just..."

"Don't work out, I got it."

I didn't mean to be mean to him, but part of him is angry that he is the one leaving. Wait no all of me is angry that he is the one leaving and not my mother. She is the one that cheated and broke my father's heart, and she even broke mine. I looked over to see my mom looking out at us through the kitchen window. I wanted to just give her the middle finger and walk away. Un fortually I have to live with her and i really didn't want to be grounded and kept here more then I already am.

"When can I visit?"

"Soon as my place is set up, but you won't be able to spend the night until I get the spare room already"

"Okay, well give me a call when we can come over dad and I will pick Spencer up"

"Sounds good son, Spencer are you okay?"

"Ya dad take your time, I'm not going anywhere"

"I love you both and I promise this won't change anything"

"Thats what you say now but just wait till the holidays"

"Spencer stop, dad is trying okay?"

"Its fine Glen"

"No dad, Spencer needs to see that this isn't your choice. Mom is the one that made this happen, its her fault that this family is splitting up"

"I'm sorry dad, its just sucks you know"

"I do and I'm sorry Spencer"

My dad wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight, I tried not to cry when he let go and gave my brother a hug. I looked over and saw that my mother wasn't watching us anymore; it made me a little happier. I leaned against Glen's truck as we watched my dad get in his car and drive down the street.

I walked inside my house with my brother following right behind me. Glen was the oldest and he had this very pertective brother thing happening ever since he left for school. I walked towards the stairs to go up to my room when I caught the site of my mother in the cornor of my eye. I stopped and walked over to the doorway, glen leaned against the other side.

"Hey mom"

"Hey you two, how is school Glen?"

"Pretty good, how is work?"

"Its really busy since we had to lay off a couple of nurses, but im staying strong and hoping they get hired back"

"Thats good. We um saw dad outside, he explained that he is moving to a new apartment?"

"Yes, you two can go see him whenever you want just be home by your curfew Spencer"

"Thats it?"

"What?"

"Why couldn't I just live with him then, if I only have to be home to sleep then whats the fucking point of living here"

"Spencer watch your language"

"Bbecause thats the real issue here"

I looked at glen who was giving me the look to calm down, but how could I. My mother ditroyed our family and now all she cares about is if im sleeping here at night. I rolled my eyes and turned to go up stairs to my room. I couldn't deal with talking to that woman who I had to call mother. It wasn't always like this between us, but I guess thats her fault too. I don't mean to blame my mother for everything, but she is the one that started all of this.

"**You're gonna be a shining star, with fancy clothes, fancy car-ars.**

**And then you'll see, you're gonna go far."**

Hey how are you doing so far? – A

My dad left, mom's a jerk, and my life sucks – S

Why didn't your mom leave? – A

I didn't ask, but I can go see my dad whenever I just have to be home in bed by curfew –S

Really, so you can go over whenever but you have to be in your own bed at night? –A

Ya, stupid – S

I'm about to go into a meeting, Skype later?- A

Of course, have fun – S

I walked over grabbing my ipod, putting on the loudest song I could and laid down in my bed. I know I should start my homework, but right now I just wanted to forget about the real world. I can usally listen to any music to escape, but I usally listen to rock when im angry and rap when im happy. I looked over at a family photo that I had beside my bed, I miss when everything was simple and happier.

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R&R Please!


	3. Chapter 3

_I do not own South of Nowhere_

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**Chapter 3**

"Where are you anyways all I see are people behind you"

"Oh I'm at this new cafe, so what are your plans for this weekend?"

I didn't get to my homework after I calmed down; I ended up passing out then Ashley text me to tell me she could Skype. I would pick skyping her over homework anytime, I needed her even if she didn't need me as much.

"Probably go to one of Aiden's parties, I don't really want to be in this fucking house"

"Just be safe okay, and don't let Kyla drink so much this time that you have to call me to bail her out"

"That was one time, and I didn't know who else to call. If her parents found out that she lost her keys because she was drunk I don't think I would ever see her again"

"Well still, be safe for me Spencer I don't want anything to happen to you"

"I'm always careful, but I can't help but live on the dangerous side once in a while"

"I know you do, hey I was looking up some stuff and I noticed they were having this dance at your school for the LGBT club"

"Don't even try Ashley"

"All I'm saying is that you should get out there Spence see what kind of fish you like in that pound called high school"

"I know what kind of fish I like, but that fish isn't here"

"I'm sorry Spencer; I really am for what happen but tonight is not the time to talk about it"

"You never want to, but you got the nerve to tell me what I should be doing on my weekends"

"Stop being a bitch to me Spencer, I'm not the bad guy here"

"Your just one of them"

"Okay well I'm going to sign off before I let you say anything else, I love you Spencer and I am sorry that I broke part of your heart"

"No your broke all of it"

I click the end button and leaned back in my chair, today had become a very shitty fucking day. I heard someone making noise downstairs; I got up from my chair and walked down stairs. I looked at the wall that was covered in pictures of Glen and I as kids, I wanted to punch every single one of them.

"Did you do your homework?"

"Yup"

"Was that Ashley you were talking to?"

"Ya, is that okay or are you going to take that away from me to mother?"

"Why are you being so rude to me Spencer, I have done nothing to disserve this ignorant attitude from you"

"What ever, look I'm going to Kyla's tomorrow night I thought you should know"

"Will that Tucker girl be there?"

I stopped what I was turning and closed the fridge; I turned and crossed my arms as I looked at my mother. Of course she wouldn't look me in the eye, because she was too scared to just say it to my fucking face.

"Why does it matter, oh wait are you scared that ill fuck her"

"Spencer Carlin stops the bad language now!"

"Or what!"

"Your grounded you can stay home this weekend and I'm taking your cell phone and computer"

"I don't care"

I grabbed water and walked past her to the front door; I grabbed my sweater and walked outside to the front steps. I pulled out my pack of smokes and lit one up; my mother was really starting to piss me off. I think by now everything was starting to piss me off, but mostly it was just my mother. I started to laugh out loud as I remember when we use to spend every day together laughing and having fun. My mother was the closet person I had to a friend when we moved here, now I don't even know who she is anymore. I don't know if it's her that changed, or myself.

"Spencer?"

"Yes?"

"Its late, and you have school"

"I'll go to bed after this smoke"

"I wish you wouldn't smoke"

"We wish a lot of things but sometimes it just doesn't come true"

"What have I done to make you so angry at me Spencer?"

I thought for a moment at what was the exact moment that I started to become angry at my mother. I couldn't just think of one time, there were lots of moments where I was angry at her. I thought back at the moment where I just stop caring and started showing my anger to her through my words.

"When you told me I was going to burn in hell for being Bisexual"

I turned my head and looked up at her leaning against our door way. I watched as she crossed her arms and avoided eye contact with me. I laughed a little then turned back around; she knew that I hit the very spot where she avoided discussing. My mother and Ashley were a lot alike that way; they both avoided to talk about what bothered them and try to work on it.

"I'll be working late tomorrow, but I'll be home on my break to make sure you're here understood"

"Yup, night ma"

"Good night Spencer"

I took one last puff of my smoke and blew it up towards the sky. I saw a shooting star as I was looking up, so I did what any other person would do and made a wish. I wished that I could be anywhere but here right now, or that everything would stop being so stupid.

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**R&R PLEASE!**


	4. Chapter 4

_I do not own South Of Nowhere_.

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**Chapter 4**

I was sitting in my room on my widow seal waiting for my mother to leave the house. She came home like she said, but she didn't even check to see if I was home. I watched as she was talking on her phone laughing and got into her car. Once she was gone and went and grabs my coat, then headed down stairs. I didn't see any note, so I grabbed y skate board and headed to out.

I wasn't going to go out tonight and just stay in to watch movies, but I was still bad about yesterday and I needed to let loose. Aiden's house was just down the road on the other side of where my house was. I skated along the road and avoided traffic as it passed me. I made sure to put on some music that would get me in the mood for this party.

Once I was got there I put my skateboard in Aiden's truck and headed inside. People were already passed out on the front lawn and it was just after 12 am. Some people just can't handle their booze, but I can and I was going to drink as much as I could tonight.

"Hey Carlin you made it homie"

"Don't call me homie Aiden, where are your truck keys?"

"Right here, why"

I took his keys and shoved them into my pocket; I didn't need a drunk Aiden driving to his death tonight. You would think since this was his home that he had no reason to leave, well some of his idiots do and I wasn't going to let them kill my friend.

"You're drunk that's why"

"I'm not drunk, you are Carlin"

"Sure you're not"

I walked through the house and pushed people out of my way, I swear people come to these to just have sex against a wall. It made me think about how many girls have been roofied because they wanted to show off to a guy and drink as much as he can; not knowing another guy is putting rape drugs into their drink. I walked over and poured me a glass of Whiskey; I took swag then added more and some coke.

"Hey Spencer"

"Hey Kyla, you not drinking tonight?"

"Just not in the mood I guess"

"Why did you come to a party then, oh wait I know because you want to look cool for Aiden?"

"What's with you Spencer?"

"Nothing"

I walked past her to the backyard where everyone was dancing; I took another sip of my drink and leaned against the deck. I watched all these girls and guys try to dance, or have sex with each other I think. Dancing these days was like having sex in front of people and not be ashamed by it. Don't get me wrong I love girls grinding on me, but some girls need to just stop.

I saw the one girl that my mother hated, or at lease hated her sexuality. I never use to use someone just for my satisfaction, but tonight I didn't give a shit. I walked down the step towards her; she was wearing a mini skirt and just a bra. Once we made eye contact I knew I was going to have fun tonight, she was already in a sexual mood.

"Spencer it's good to see you"

"Why is that?"

"Because I got craving for something and I know you can satisfy me"

"Let's go"

I grabbed her hand and walked to the middle of the dance area, it didn't take long for her to be grinding against me. Her back was against my front, and my hands were moving up and down her stomach. I swear if I was a guy I would be 9 inches long straight right now. I moved my hands down on her hips and slowly squeezed. My lips hover hers then finally kissed her; she always tasted so good on my lips. I reached down and took out my phone, aimed it then took a picture of us kissing. I pulled back and looked at the picture, yup I was happy.

"Pissing of mommy dearest"

"Yup"

"How about we go piss her off upstairs"

"Not tonight Tucker, see ya"

I turned and walked back up the stairs to the deck; I grabbed my cup and dumped it over the side. There is one rule I always live by at parties, don't take a sip of your drink if you put it down. Mother fuckers like to sip little magic pills into it, at its one dream that will turn into a fucking nightmare. Once I got into the kitchen and poured another drink, I went out front to have a smoke.

"**She knows what I think about**

**And what I think about**

**One love, two mouths**

**One love, one house**

**No shirt, no blouse"**

"Hello?"

"Where the fuck are you?"

"What, who is this!"

"Check your caller I'd"

I checked and noticed it was Ashley calling me; I rolled my eyes and put the phone back to my ear. I don't why she is calling me, it better be important because I would like to finish my drink in peace and my smoke as well.

"What do you want Ashley"

"Stop being a bitch, where are you"

"Why do you care?"

"You know what Spencer I didn't do anything to you, but you seem to have this attitude with me and I won't take it. "

"I'm at Aiden's party, why?"

"Got to go bye"

I looked at my phone after I heard the click; I tried calling back but no answer. I shrugged and took another sip of my drink and a puff of my smoke. I looked around and noticed I was the only one outside; I reached in my back pocket and pulled out a joint that I rolled while waiting for my mother to leave. I brought it up to my lips, just the smell of it made me relax.

"Your promised me you wouldn't do that shit"

"Ashley?"

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**R&R Please**


	5. Chapter 5

_I do not own South Of Nowhere_

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**Chapter 5**

I stood there and stared at her, I couldn't believe my eyes that she was here. She wasn't supposed to come for another 4 weeks. I put my joint back in my pocket and walked down to her, she was looking good. I smiled as I noticed she was wearing my sweater I gave her for her birthday; I also noticed the ring wasn't on her finger.

"What are you doing here Ashley?"

"What am I not allowed to be here, or is that your angry side talking?"

"Relax I'm not snapping at you"

"I know I was making a joke, I'm here to visit you"

I walked towards the road where her jeep was parked, she made sure to always rent a jeep since she can never afford to buy one for herself. Ashley travels a lot sure, but it does come at a price. It means she can't spend money on her dream jeeps, and live in a fancy house. I think that's a rap song, or maybe a pop song?

"How long are you staying?"

"Till I need to, I'm staying at the same hotel as always"

"It's been over a two months, none stop talking, and we can still find a way to make it awkward"

"How about I take you home, then we can talk"

"About what, because everything I want to talk about you don't"

"Come on"

We got into her jeep and drove towards my house; I forgot that my skateboard was in Aiden's truck. I then remembered about his keys, I guess he won't be going anywhere soon. As for the girl who was next to me, I think she will be leaving soon like always. Ashley always says she is going to stay till she needs to, but once I bring up us it's out the door she goes.

"Is your mom home tonight?"

"She is at work I guess, that's what she told me so I guess it's true"

Ashley and I dated for just over a year, I was 16 and she was 19. When she came here the first time it was amazing, she even got along with my family. My mother would joke around with her and tell her stories about me. Glen and her would go out back and shoot hoops, while Ashley gave him dating advice.

When we were alone it was a different story, it was full of love. Ashley would hold me in her arms and promise me she would never let me go. I would trust her and slowly close my eyes, falling asleep in her arms on the beach. When we were out in public she always showed that I was hers, she wasn't ashamed of our relationship. Our hands were always entangled together, and her lips barely left mine. When she said she loved me I believed it because she said it so soft like it was a special kind of love just for me.

"When is she done work, because if you want I can spend the night so you're not alone?"

"Let's just get there and see what happens"

I don't know what happen, or what I even did to make Ashley do what she did. I got a letter in the mail from her a few days after out annivsary; it was a break up later. She told me that she loved me so much, but she had to let me go. That her heart will always be mine and to keep it safe till she returns. I didn't leave my room for weeks, not until she started to text me and email me. Slowly we started to talk again, but it was still hard for us. We broke up two months ago from today, a week after my brother and I noticed my parents weren't being a couple and then we were told they were getting a divorce.

"Spencer"

"Spencer"

"Spencer!"

"Oh sorry I was thinking about something"

"What were you thinking about?"

"The day your broke my heart"

I got out of her jeep and walked up to my front door; unlocking it and leaving it open for Ashley. I walked inside to the kitchen to grab water; I noticed there was no note so my mother hadn't been home. I bought a cell a couple of days ago and I haven't given her the number. I didn't need her calling me about stupid shit all the time, and demanding me to tell her where I was.

"Nothing has changed I see"

"What do you mean?"

"Everything is in the same place as it was before"

"My parents got a divorce Ashley, they didn't change the house"

I leaned against the counter and watched as Ashley took a seat at the dinner table. I wanted to just go up and kiss her so bad, but I also wanted to punch her in her fucking face. She sat there just looking over at me, waiting for me to say something but I couldn't.

"How is Glen?"

"Good I guess he doesn't live here"

"I know that Spencer, we do talk"

"You and Glen?"

"No you and I jeez what's going on with you"

"Don't start Ashley, because soon as I tell you what's wrong then you will leave on the next plane like always"

"I'm not leaving"

"That's what everyone says"

"Is that what's wrong, you think everyone leaves you on purpose?"

"Seems like it"

"Your father didn't leave because he wanted to; you know he would take you with him if he could"

"How do you know this, you don't fucking talk to him"

"I actually do, and he was the one that asked me to come here and talk to you"

"What?"

"He is worried about you and so am I; we just want to make sure your okay Spence"

"Wait oh I get it now, let's send the CYW to take care of poor little Spencer"

"It's not like that Spencer!"

"Just fucking leave, and tell your buddy to stop hiding and be a fucking father!"

I walked past Ashley and up to my room, slamming the door. I turned around and made sure it was locked, I wasn't in the mood to have Ashley in my face pretending to care. I walked over and sat down on my bed, I grabbed the picture of my family and through it at the wall.

"Liars"

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**R&R Please:)**


	6. Chapter 6

_I do not own South of Nowhere_

**Chapter 6**

I woke up with a pounding headache, I grabbed my Advil and swollowed them both with my water from last night. I rubbed my face and got up from my bed, I didn't even know if my mother came home last night or this morning. I open my door and saw that her door was open; it meant that she wasn't home all night. I checked the time and it was just past 10 am, usually she would have been in bed by now from working night shifts. When I got down stairs I saw Ashley sleeping on the sofa, I walked over and nudged her.

"What"

"Get up"

"What time is it?"

"Get up and get out of here before my mother get home, I don't need her yelling at me more because I let you stay the night. Since when did you think you were allowed to just stay the night Ashley?"

"Wow you need coffee, or to get laid wow you're a bitch these days"

"Just leave okay?"

I turn and walked into the kitchen, I found a sticky not on the fridge. Of course it was from my mother telling me that she had to work again this morning, or and that I'm grounded for another week from having the "girl" sleep on our couch while she wasn't home.

"I'm leaving, text me when you're not being such a bitch"

"Stay, my mother already knows your here"

"I'm still not staying till you loosen up"

"Coffee?"

"Sure what ever"

As I went to make the coffee I couldn't help but notice how sexy Ashley looked when she just woke up. Her voice was this deep husky sound to it, and it drove my vagina crazy. I looked out the window and saw my mother's car in the driveway, I guess her little boy toy picked her up.

"What are your plans for today?"

"Spend time watching TV and catching up on my sleep, you?"

"Doing the same as you"

"What is this rehab and you're my doctor?"

"No I'm your friend and I'm trying to be here for you but you won't let me"

"So that's the only reason why you came all the way across the country is to be here for me?"

"Ya because even know you might not believe it, I still love you Spencer and I care a lot about you"

"Sure you do, and that's why you broke my fucking heart in a letter"

"Spencer don't start"

"Oh I'm sorry should I take you to the airport now since I know you don't want to talk about us"

"Stop!"

"Why can't I talk about how you fucking hurt me!"

"Because I hurt myself to Spencer, You weren't the only one that got hurt!"

"It was your choice, not mine!"

"I had to!"

"Really why, did someone make you!"

"Because I had to okay, and I don't expect you to ever understand!"

"Please try to get me to understand, because you hurt me more than my own parents divorce did"

"Spencer you're in high school and you have your whole life, I'm travelling around all the time and we barely see each other. How is that fare to you or myself"

"I was perfect with it, but you weren't"

"Look I didn't come here to fight about us, we will talk eventually I promise"

"Just like you promise to love me"

"I still do Spence, I never stopped"

I looked up at her and saw that she was telling me the truth. I nodded and walked over to grab us some cereal. I didn't want to keep looking at her for long; I don't think I could control my hormones. Ashley use to say that I was half guy because I always get horny.

"Well hello Ashley when did you get here?"

"Last night I spent the night I hope that's okay"

"Of course, Spencer I'm going to go lay down please keep the noise down okay?"

"Sure"

"I hope you got rid of that girl, you will not be having those night again in my house do you understand"

"Yup, sorry"

"It was nice seeing you Ashley, please come for dinner tonight so we can catch up"

"Since when do we eat together?"

"Spencer!"

"It's fine, I'll come back to have dinner tonight is there anything I should bring?"

"Just you"

I leaned back with my arms crossed as I watch the two interact, I tried not to laugh at the thought. My mother always loved Ashley, but she didn't know the truth. That Ashley was a lesbian/ Transgender, I know it's complicated. You see when I first started to date Ashley she was a lesbian, then she realized she liked being a boy. I encouraged her to be who ever she felt the most comfortable being around me; I just wanted her to be happy. So behind closed doors she was Asher, but in the open she was Ashley the girl. My mother was not aware of any of this, she believes Ashley is straight. Oh and to add some more to this wonderful friendship, Ashley was my first and it was an amazing weekend.

"I'm going change at my hotel room, would you want to grab lunch and talk later?"

"Sure"

"I'm surprised you didn't snap at your mother"

"Ya me to, so I'll see you later?"

"I'll text before I leave"

The reason why I didn't snap at my mother was that I realized today was her birthday, and she didn't even blink when I didn't say happy birthday. I started to feel guilty that I didn't even remember that it was her birthday; maybe I should at least do something. I walked over and called my dad, he had something that I needed.

**R&R Please**


	7. Chapter 7

_I do not own South of Nowhere_

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**Chapter 7**

I didn't have a problem finding my dad's new place; it was literally right next to where he works. I was in the elevator going up to what he called his new apartment; I called it the stupid part of the divorce. I pushed off the wall and walked out as the doors open, when I walked down to find his place I couldn't help but wonder if he liked it here. It seemed like a nice place to live, but it was very quiet.

"Hello sweetie, come in"

"Hey dad, did you find the picture yet?"

"I did, it was in my office stuff that I packed up"

I looked around as he was talking to me; he his place was very empty. I thought my dad would have had more stuff, but apparently all he had was a good few boxes. I picked up one of the pictures he had of glen and I. He had it on his desk that he brought from our house; I sat it back down and looked at him.

"Seems like a nice place you have here"

"Well it's not done I still need to unpack more stuff and buy some stuff too. You room will be ready soon as I get the boxes out of there, I also need to buy you a bed"

"I don't think I will be spending the night dad, mom wants me home in my own bed every night"

"I'll talk to her about that, she can't keep me away from you and your brother"

"She already is, look I'm meeting Ashley for lunch can I get the picture?"

"She did come"

"Ya and I rather not talk about how you called her, by the way that was a dick move dad"

"I just wanted to give you someone to talk to"

I get where he was coming from, and how he was just looking out for me. I just didn't like how he went behind my back and called the one person that hurt me more than him and my mother. I guess it's not his fault, I never did tell him about my relationship with her. I walked over and grabbed the picture, and headed to the door.

"I'm sorry Spencer that all of this is happening to your brother and you"

"I know and I get it okay, just make sure you're happy too dad okay not just mom and us"

"I will be"

I nodded and left his apartment, closing the door behind me. As I walked down and got into the elevator I felt myself wanting to cry. This was my new life now, going to an apartment to see my father. Once the doors open I walked out and saw a family walking together laughing, it reminded me of my family. I slid the picture I got from my father into my back pack and headed out side, I told Ashley to pick me up here.

Part of me wanted to let every feeling of anger go, but something made me hold onto it. I hate that not only did I get hurt by Ashley; I got hurt by my parents. I wanted to just scream at them all, and punch something so they all can see how much there breaking me. I get that parents sometimes don't end up together forever, but it was my mother fucking cheating that did this. She even acts like nothing happen, and she carries on with her life. Ashley pulled up in her car as I took one final look at the apartment building. I didn't see this coming, and if I did then I would have ran away a long time ago.

"You okay?"

"I think so, just weird you know"

"How is he doing?"

"I think he is broken, lost, and lonely."

"Maybe you can help him feel less by spending time with him?"

"I don't think I can right now"

"Why not?"

"I still have this hate for him even know he hasn't done anything wrong"

"I want to take you somewhere okay?"

"Okay"

I didn't really care where we went; I just needed to escape somewhere even if it was with Ashley. I looked out the window as we drove towards the out part of town. I watched the trees go by my window, and saw the clouds follow us. I felt Ashley reach over and intertwine out fingers, her thumb was rubbing the back of my hand. I looked over at her and smiled, something about her simple touch made me always relax. I turned back to face my window just as she pulled up the lake we use to go as a couple, it was the one place where we both could be free to be our selves.

"I brought some stuff and your bikini to swim in, is this okay?"

"You know I hate bikini's Ashley"

"I love them on you, please?"

"Fine, but next time you're wearing one Asher"

I stuck out my tongue and got out of her jeep, walking to the back to grab the bikini. Of course she picked the one that would be the smallest so she could see all of me. As I took off my clothes and changed I noticed she was trying not to look, I knew it wouldn't be long till Asher would come out to play. I know I really shouldn't allow us to go there, but fuck I miss sex with that boy.

"Ready?"

"Yup let's go"

I grabbed my towel and walked down the sand where I laid out my towel and took off my sandals. I walked down to test the water, it was actually warm. I looked back and saw Ashley take off her shirt revealing her tan body; I think it's time I cool off my body. I ran down the dock and dived into the water, when I came up I saw Ashley swim towards me. She pulled me into her, wrapping my arms around her neck and my legs around her.

"Hey"

"Hi"

I couldn't take it anymore, I leaned in and took her lips in mine griping her hair a bit. I almost came at the sound of her moaning, fuck I missed her lips so much. I felt her nails go into my back trying to pull me into her as close as she could. I really should stop this before it go too far, fuck it I need her.

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	8. Chapter 8

_I do not own South of Nowhere_

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**Chapter 8**

If you're wondering Ashley and I didn't do anything except make out. I think we both want to, but we know we shouldn't. I was lying on my towel watching her dive of the dock, her body was amazing. When Ashley went to go have the surgery to get her breast removes I wanted to be there for her, but she wouldn't let me. Ashley had it done in Canada so she didn't want me crossing the country just for that. I made her promise I could have her before she had the surgery, and after. I love her body no matter what, but after the surgery she become happier with her looks.

"What are you looking at?"

"You"

"Thanks, do you want to talk now?"

"About us?"

"Sure"

I couldn't believe that she was actually going to talk about us; I've been trying for months. I sat up and brought my knees to my chest, looking over at her. She had legs crossed and was playing with the towel, I knew she didn't like talking. Ashley is a very private person and she knows how to hide her feelings very well.

"Why did you do it Asher, why did you break up with me?"

"After our anniversary, once I got back to Canada I started to talk to this girl and I felt drawn to her somehow. The more I talked to her; I realized it was her that my focus was on and not you. I didn't think it was fair to you so I broke it off"

"How long were you talking to her till you broke it off with me"

"A week before, and I couldn't stop feeling like I was cheating on you and I never want to hurt you like that"

"Are you still talking?"

"Not really anymore since she got a girlfriend, but even before I knew that I wouldn't really be happy if I was with her."

"Why?"

"You let me be who I want; you let me be a boy in private and a girl in public. You encourage me to follow my dreams, and you never stop loving me. Spencer you are the only girl who still can make me blush, and make me laugh when I want to cry, you make me feel so sexy when you look at me, and I know you love me"

"You hurt me more when you broke up with me over a letter, you couldn't even do it over Skype. You were the first real relationship, and the first person I have ever fell in love with. You smash my heart and you didn't even care about how bad I still needed you. Asher you are my best friend and I needed you and I couldn't because you're the one who hurt me"

"I never wanted to hurt you Spence, that's the last thing I wanted. You weren't the only one hurting; I spent days in bed sleeping because a day without you as mine killed me. I felt so lost and hurt by everything that I felt, I didn't understand my own feelings. My heart was telling me I'm in love with you, but my head was telling me to see where things would go with the other girl"

"What happen with her?"

"Nothing, I couldn't do it because I was so destroyed by us"

"Why didn't you just say all of this to me, we could have worked through it and be together"

"I don't want to hurt you Spencer, and I feel like I'm going to in the future"

"Isn't that my decision to make not yours?"

"It's also mine, I won't be able to live with myself if I hurt you again Spencer"

"You're telling me that you're not sure if I'm the enough for you?"

"No, I'm saying that I can't trust myself."

"Fine"

I got up and walked down to the water, crossing my arms. I get that Ashley didn't want to hurt me so he wasn't pushing me away, but fuck it hurt me even more. He says I'm enough for him, but he can't trust himself like what the fuck is that shit. I'm in love with this person, they love me back, but we both just end up getting hurt. Love is a four letter word that hurts people so much, and I'm done with it.

"Your mom is calling you"

"Hey mom"

"Spencer dinner will be ready in a hour please be here on time"

"Yes mother"

I hung up the phone and walked back over all of our stuff. I didn't make eye contact with Ashley not because I hated her, because I would cry if I saw the love in her eyes. Ashley always had this soft look in her eyes that always showed how much she really loved me. I stopped moving as I felt her hands on my sides, her lips on my shoulder. I swear if she wasn't holding me I would be on my knees, her lips always made me weak.

"I love you so much Spencer and I can't lose you as a friend, please don't leave me alone Spence"

"You have me Asher, you will always have me"

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	9. Chapter 9

_I do not own South of Nowhere_  


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**_Rated R !_**

**Chapter 9 **

After we left and headed back to my place I didn't really talk to Ashley, nor did she talk to me at all. I get that she was trying to do the right thing by breaking up with me, but after a year being with each other that means shit to me. In the car she tried to hold my hand a couple of times, but I didn't let her. Ashley knows I'm upset because she knows I love holding her hand, even if we are friends. Once we got to my house, I open the door and walked in on my mother laughing with a guy in our kitchen. I felt Ashley place her hand on my back because we both knew who this guy was.

"Girls your home, please come sit with us"

"Here, happy birthday"

I handed my mom the picture of her and I sitting on the beach smiling, it was my 9th birthday and I spent it with just my family. We spent the whole day at the beach, I remember my mom always saying that was her favorite day. My father took the picture and kept it in his office; I don't think my mother ever saw it since she never went to his office. Now that I think of it that is sad that my mother didn't even know where her husbands office was.

"Spencer thank you, I love it honey"

"Dad took it so I got it from him today"

"You saw your father?"

"Yes I went to his new apartment, but I'm here so its fine"

"Okay well let's sit and start eating this amazing food, Ashley is really good to have you here"

I took a seat beside Ashley, and right across from the guy who looked and sounded like a doctor. I felt Ashley hand on my leg; I couldn't help but feel a little relaxed. I watched as my mom walked behind him and running her hand over his back. I knew this was the asshole that made my life fucked up, and I knew I didn't like him.

"Who are you?"

"Spencer!"

"Its fine Paula, I'm a friend of your mothers my name is David"

"Are you a doctor?"

"Yes I work with your mom in the emergency room"

"You're the man that my mom used to cheat on my father"

"Spencer stop"

"Why should I, he is the one that fucked up this family and now you bring him here to have dinner with us."

"Spencer stop, I'm sorry David"

"Why are you here, shouldn't you go back to your little wife"

"Excuse me?"

"Well all cheaters are always with someone who is also a cheater, so do you have a wife and kids too?"

"No"

"Spencer stop! "

"Fine"

I took my fork and started to eat my salad that I actually wanted to since it was my favorite. I reached down and intertwine my fingers with Ashley, I didn't feel safe and this was the only way. As I looked up at my mother and David, I noticed that my mother was going to say something.

"Yes mother?"

"Spencer I want you to know that David will be coming around more often now and I hope you respect that. I don't want to hide things from you and I hope you see that as me respecting you as an adult"

"I'm a teen"

"Look I know everything is complicated and hard, but your father and I both disserve to be happy and this is me being happy"

"So what is he moving in or something?"

"No, but he is going to come around and be here"

"Can I go to my room now?"

"Sure"

I got up from the table and walked up into my room; once the door was closed I fell onto my bed. It wasn't long till I felt the bed dip and I curled into Ashley's side, yes I know I should still be bad at her but I couldn't right now. Ashley wrapped her arms around me and kissed my forehead, my life is starting to change and I didn't even know about it. I looked up at Ashley and kissed her gently, griping her shirt pulling her close. If I couldn't take out my frustration on my mother, then I was going to take it out on someone who could make me feel amazing.

"Spence we shouldn't"

"Shut up and just make love to me"

"I love you"

"I love you too"

Just like that I was on my back griping Ashley's back as she was kissing me with everything she had. Ashley's hands were griping and feeling every part of my body, hers lips never once left my skin. I open my eyes and watched her move up my shirt, kissing my stomach. I couldn't help grip her hair as I let out a small moan.

"Fuck that feels good"

"I missed you Spence"

Ashley moved lower and pulled my pants down then ripped them off of me. I felt her kiss up my legs, leaving marks as she went up towards my centre. I gripped the pillow behind my head as I felt spread my underwear, running her tongue up my slit.

"Oh fuck!"

Ashley leaned back as she slowly took off my underwear, running her hands up between my legs. I let out a moan, leaned up grabbing her head forcing our lips together. I licked my lips, I could taste myself and I tasted good. Ashley was now two fingers deep in me and she wasn't holding back, her tongue was flicking my clit. I grips her head as I grinded my hips against her faster.

"Yes fuck Ashley!"

"Quiet baby your mom"

"Really you think you should say that at this very HOLY SHIT!"

Ashley just had to shove all four fingers in me as she sucked on my clit, fuck her tongue could destroy me inside and out. I griped the bed sheets move as she went harder in me; I closed my eyes tight as I swear it wasn't going to take long to get me off.

"Feel good Spence?"

"Yes fuck so fucking good baby!"

My hips came off the bed as I arched, Ashley really wasn't holding back. I felt myself start to become tighter around her fingers. I gripped the sheets as I started to scream her name loud, at this point I didn't care if my mother heard.

"Ashley!"

I felt myself Shake as I cummed all down Ashley's fingers and onto my bed, fuck she knew how to get me off. After Cumming I felt so weak that I didn't even notice her fingers had left and now she was sucking on them. I moaned as she kissed me, leaving my own cum on my lips.

"Relax Spencer I'm right here"

"I love you Ashley, and all I want is to be happy with you"

"Shh baby relax and sleep in my arms"

I was going to argue with her, but after laying in her arms as she rubbed my back I couldn't even talk. Ashley always had this power over me and I could never explain it. All it took was her hand on my skin and I was completely under her spell. Some days I really hated it, other days I craved it so much.

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	10. Chapter 10

_I do not own South of Nowhere_

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**_A/N : You can now add me on BBM ( 7D8D47BD) or Kik (Sushi1976) ._**

**Chapter 10**

When the morning came I didn't want to open my eyes, it would hurt to know all of this was just dream. That last night Ashley wasn't here, and I was in her arms making love to her all night. I slowly reached over and found nothing; I gripped the bed and slowly open my eyes. I sat up to see if she was just somewhere else. I noticed a piece of paper on the bed and I knew last night wasn't a dream, but it was about to be a nightmare.

_Spencer,_

_I love you. _

_Ashley_

That's all it said and nothing more, I reached for my phone to check for any messages. I found my phone blank; I tossed it onto the bed and got up to change. I heard my mother's laugh down stairs, and I also heard his. I took a big breathe and decided to just go down and check out what was going on. When I got down stairs I found the two of them sipping on coffee and just talking at the kitchen table.

"Good morning Spencer"

"Morning"

"You're up early is everything okay?"

I looked over at the clock and she was right, it was five am and that meant Ashley left right after I passed out. I gripped my cup as I thought about why she would just leave like that, how could she. Ashley always stayed and cuddled, even if my mother was home to catch us.

"No just couldn't sleep I guess"

"Do you want to go get some breakfast with us?"

"I think I'm just going to grab some coffee then finish some homework"

"Please Spencer?"

My mother was really trying this morning, and I know it wasn't fake. I wasn't in the mood to spend time with her and her little boyfriend, but I didn't want to stay home either. I walked over and sat my cup back in the cupboard and nodded at her, seeing her smile that big made me smile too.

"Okay well go get ready"

"Okay"

I walked up stairs into my bedroom; I grabbed my towel and clothes to change into. I walked into my shower and turned the water on; Flashbacks from last night came into my mind.

_**Flashback**_

_Ashley's lips never left my body, her hands were always exploring every part of my body. Moans left my lips as she left marks all over my body, she claimed me and I let her. Her back was covered in marks as I ran my nails down her back, screaming her name in ecstasy._

_**Flashback ended**_

I ran my hands down over my body as I remembered how Ashley couldn't stop touching me, how she made me feel like I was free. I looked at my wrist where she left a mark; I couldn't help but let a tear fall.

_**Flashback**_

_I watched as she sucked on my wrist and left a mark, she then kissed it with her soft lips. I laid back and ran my fingers up her arm and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. _

"_Your mine forever Spencer"_

"_I'm yours Ash"_

"_You're so beautiful; I can't wait for the day I get to marry you"_

"_Me either" _

_My fingers slid through her silky hair as I kissed her as hard as I could, I put everything into the kiss to show her that I loved her. The kiss slowed down as I felt something on my cheek, I open my eyes to see Ashley crying. _

"_Baby what's wrong?"_

"_I love you so much Spencer, I'm so sorry for everything. I didn't mean to ever hurt you or make you hate me"_

"_Ashley I never hated you, please baby don't cry"_

"_I want a future with you like we always talked about"_

"_We will baby I promise"_

"_I'm in love with you Spencer"_

"_I'm in love with you too Ashley"_

_**Flashback ended**_

I looked in the mirror as I put my clothes on; I wiped my tears away and grabbed my phone. I checked it one more time then put it away, I don't think she was going to call. I walked down stairs and waited for my mother and David, finally after a while my mother came down ready.

"Where's David?"

"I thought you and I could go for breakfast instead, you seemed to be upset and making you have breakfast with us wouldn't be fun"

"Thanks mom"

I leaned forward and gave my mother a hug, I know I haven't been the best daughter but she was trying. We walked outside and towards her car, I looked up and saw Ashley car sitting on the other side of the road. I knew that she wasn't coming to apologize; she was there to make sure I was safe. I put my sunglasses on and got into my mother's car.

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	11. Chapter 11

_I Do Not Own South Of Nowhere_

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**_A/N: Sorry everyone for the delay, I have been busy with family. - Sushi1976_**

**Chapter 11**

My mom and I went for breakfast and now we are at the beach. She hasn't really said anything to me about David, but I think she is just trying to be here for me. We were sitting at a picnic table watching the surfers; I was also enjoying the ice cream she bought for me.

"Mom why are you being all motherly today"

"What I can't take my daughter out for some ice cream on a beautiful day?"

"Sure its just this whole weekend has been such a drag, and then you and David seemed all happy and shit this morning"

"Don't swear"

"Sorry"

"Spencer I want you to know that what's going on with your father and I didn't just start now."

"What?"

"Your father and I had been going through some stuff and we finally just decided to stop pretending that everything is fine between us"

"You still love dad?"

"Of course I do honey, and I know your father loves me"

"Then why now, why is this all happening now. In one weekend I lost everything, I even lost Ashley I think"

"I know you think this is all happening fast Spencer and I'm sorry, but you knew your father and I were getting the divorce"

"Yes I did, but I didn't expect to watch my father leave one night then meet my new daddy the next"

I got up and tossed my cone in the trash and walked towards the car, the more we talked about this the more it made me upset. I put my hands in my pockets and leaned against the side, I saw my mom lean against it beside me.

"Spencer you might see how the world looks from your point of view, but you don't see it from every ones."

"What are you talking about?"

"Remember when your father went away last year for that out reach program for the kids?"

"Yes I wanted to go and help, but you refused to let me. You know I still hate you for not letting me go, I always wanted to do help out kids"

"You wouldn't talk to me for the whole time your father was gone"

"That was a very long month, I had so many places I wanted to go too. I even remember asking Glen to take me to the movies since you also grounded me from seeing my friends because I called you a bitch"

"Spencer there are moments where parents have to tell their kids the truth, or lie in order to petect them. I never let you go to that event because I wanted you to be pprotected, but I never once lied to you about why"

"You didn't?"

"No, I have never lied to you Spencer. I was honest when I told you I didn't like your lifestyle, but your the one that never saw it through my view of things. "

"This is getting so confusing mom, what are you talking about"

"I was raised in a catholic family Spencer, I was raised to believe that being a lesbian is wrong and you will burn in hell. So when I said I was against it Spencer..."

"You were just going by what your spent your whole life beileveing"

"Yes, I still love you Spencer and I would never disown you for loving someone."

"You never liked any of the girls I was with because they were females mom"

"I didn't like there attitudes Spencer, I like Ashley don't I?"

"Wait what?"

"Spencer why would I pay for a long distance plan, your plane tickets, and let Ashley stay with us. Spencer I can read our phone bill, and it shows that you and Ashley talk a lot for friends. I knew you were a couple from the moment you first saw her at the airport"

"Really!"

"Yes, of course I knew"

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"You have a once track mind and you don't really think about the other persons views"

"Then what am I missing?"

"That is not my story to tell, its yours to find out"

"Now you go all mystery shit on my ass?"

"Watch your language Spencer!"

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	12. Chapter 12

_**I'm sorry everyone for not updating, I haven't been in the mood to write. I would like to thank everyone for reading my stories and reviewing them. A special thanks to islandofmisfittoys13 for getting me in the mood to write again, I love you :) -Sushi1976**_

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**Chapter 12**

After spending the day with my mother I realized that she wasn't as cold hearted as I thought she was, I guess I should have thought about her side of things. We got home a few hours and started to make dinner together; after we ate she went to go meet David for coffee. I told her he could have stayed for dinner and I would play nice, but she said it wouldn't be mother and daughter time if he was there.

I've been sitting in my room watching my favorite poetry artists on YouTube, something about people expressing how they feel make me want to write poetry. My phone has gone off a couple of times and I wished it was Ashley, but it was just my brother. He asked how my weekend is going, I told him good and I wanted to drop out of school like always. My brother of course spent the next hour telling me how much I need to stay in school; it made me want to puke.

"Knock knock"

I looked up and saw Ashley standing at my bedroom door way, I smiled at her and took the coffee she handed me. I wanted to be pist at her for just leaving after we had sex, but it's Ashley and sometimes she does really fuck up things because it's easier for her.

"What are you doing here, not that I'm glad to see you?"

"I came by to say I'm sorry for just leaving this morning, it was wrong and I shouldn't have done that"

"No you shouldn't have, but I'm over it. Actually I'm shocked that your still here and not on a plane back to Canada"

"I said this time was different, that I'm staying this time and not running"

"You did run, this morning after having sex with your ex"

"Can't we just move on from that and start over?"

"Ashley last night you were upset and promising me that we would have the future we talked about, now you just want to forget about it all!"

"Because I'm tired of everyone bringing up my past, and my fucking mistakes!"

"Ashley I'm still in love with you. I hear your voice, smell, touch and I want to die because you're not mine anymore. My parents are divorced, my brother isn't here, and I have to deal with school. On top of all that the one person who I can't stop loving is here in the flesh and I can't call her mine!"

I got up and ran my hand through my hair and looked over at Ashley, she was sitting on the edge of my bed staring away from me. Ashley was the type of person who wasn't good at sharing how she felt, but if you got her mad or gave her music she would tell you exactly how she felt. I leaned against my dresser and looked at the pictures of our Skype dates.

"I hated watching you sleep and not be able to touch you, the moment I finally got to touch you was the most amazing moment in my life Ashley."

"It felt like we finally did everything right, and got our wished granted."

"Ashley I need to know if this will ever be anything more than just friendship, I can't have you messing with my head"

"Spencer I don't know okay, I want there to be us one day"

"Do you still love me?"

"Yes"

"Are you still in love with me?"

"Spencer don't ask me that"

"Answer me Ashley!"

"Look can we just forget about this and talk about something eles"

"Fucking answer me now!"

"No"

"No you're not in love with me, or no you won't answer!"

"No i'm not in love with you Spencer, i'm sorry"

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	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

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**Flashback**

_I wanted to just get up and run out the front door and scream, how could she just stand there and tell me she didn't fucking love me. We were together for a year and had gone through so much bullshit, how can you just stop loving someone. I sat down on my bed and gripped my bed, she tried to touch me and I moved away. _

"_How, how can you just stop loving me Ashley"_

"_I do love you Spencer; I just don't think I'm in love with you. I'm sorr..."_

"_Don't, just don't"_

"_Spencer you know that won't stop me from being in your life and helping you through everything that's going on"_

"_Ashley"_

"_Yes Spencer"_

"_Get out"_

**Flashback ended**

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I couldn't skate fast enough to stop my mind from thinking about her, I couldn't run fast enough for me to forget about a whole year, I couldn't stop anything. I felt like everything was a lie, and her love for me was something I imagined. I stopped at the baseball diamonds and through my skateboard at the fence.

"Fuck!"

I grabbed the fence and pounded my fist against it; everything in my body was hurting. My heart felt like it was getting ripped out of my chest and being stomped on. I finally slid down and wrapped my arms around my legs as I let the tears finally fall. Everything in my life was falling and I couldn't stop it from happening. I looked up when I felt something hit my skin, it was raining and for once I didn't feel like I was crying it was just rain running down my cheeks.

"Spencer! Spencer!"

I watched as Ashley ran through the trees and finally her eyes landed on mine, I never saw her look so scared. She ran over and lifted my head as she check to see if I was okay, when she saw my cut up hands I pulled them away from her.

"Spence I was worried, you just left and it started to rain and I was worried"

"I needed to be alone"

"Spencer come home"

I stood up and shooked my head, grabbing my skateboard that I through. I walked back and took a seat on the bleachers. I looked into the field and remembered when all I had was softball, and my family didn't really care about where I was most of the time.

"Where is home Ashley, please tell me because I don't have one anymore. A home is where you're allowed to make mistakes, and your family will be there to hold you, to love you, and to protect you. That house back there, my family, it's not a home anymore, everything is broken"

"Spencer it's not broken. Your family is going through something hard, and each of you is dealing with it in your own way. You might want everyone to cope with it together, but maybe everyone just needs there space. Your parents aren't meaning to hurt you Spencer, they love you so much"

"Then why aren't they together anymore"

Ashley walked over and wrapped me in her arms as I let my tears fall; I started to shake so she put her sweater around me. I slowly started to relax as I felt her heart beat through her chest, and her hand was on my stomach.

"I can't answer for them, but I know that something must of happen and it was their choice to divorce. Your parents wouldn't do something to just hurt you Spencer; you need to remember that they are humans too"

"How did you fall out of love so easy, if this is what love is like then I don't want anything to do with it?"

"Spencer it wasn't easy, and it still hurts like hell. I don't like not being in love with you Spencer"

"How do you know that you are?"

"If I was in love with you Spencer I wouldn't have looked at another girl, you would be all I needed"

"Ash I hate feeling alone and broken"

"Your not alone Spencer, I'm right here."

"What about me being broken?"

"There is nothing broken, we just need to find you some answers"

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	14. Chapter 14

_I do not own South of Nowhere_

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**Chapter 14**

As was right back where it all started, staring at the clock waiting for the bell to ring. I tried not to show my feelings, putting on a smile when someone looked at me in the eyes. I could hear my friends around me talking about different stuff, the teacher was talking about some old guy, and the clock was slowly ticking by. I reached down and checked my phone, nothing. Ashley promised me she would text me every day to make sure I never felt alone, guess not.

"Spencer?"

Great. What did I do now.

"Yes sir?"

"You're wanted down in the guidance office, take your books please"

I got up and slowly grabbed my stuff and walked out of the classroom, when I turned I saw my teacher nod at me. I walked down the stairs and into the office where the staff was busy typing away; I never understood why they were always typing when their job was to talk to teens about college. I took a seat and grabbed a magazine; it had some soccer player on it. Made me miss sports, made me think about how I wanted to be a famous athlete one day.

"Spencer Carlin?"

"Yes?"

"You can come in now"

I nodded and took the magazine with me, following the women into her office. I noticed she had a picture of her family on her desk; teachers always had the perfect family. Once I heard that two teachers were having an affair with each other, and even after breaking up their own families they still lived a happy life.

"Spencer do you know why you were called down here today?"

"No"

"It seems that you're struggling with your studies, you use to have an 80% average and now it's just above 60%"

"So?"

"Well with that kind of change we are advice to check in on you to see what we can do to help"

"Help, you want to help now that school is almost over?"

"Spencer I'm sorry it took so long, but you also didn't take responsibility and ask for help either. We can help you, but only if you want to be helped"

"Well I don't"

"Is everything okay at home Spencer?"

"What has that got to do with anything?"

"I'm just making sure your okay, that's all"

"Are you a guidance councillor or a therapist?"

"Does it matter, would it be better if I was a therapist?"

"Can I leave now?"

"Sure, and you can have that magazine too"

"Thanks"

I got up and turned to face the door, when I reached it and took the knob in my hand I stopped and turned around facing the girl.

"Thanks for caring, but I don't think a person should be judge on a percentage"

"Do you like sports?"

"I use to, I played softball"

"Have you ever thought about volunteering?"

"Why would I do that?"

"To distract you from what's really hurting you"

"Have a good day"

Once I left the office and taking some of the sectary candies, I headed to my locker to find Ashley standing there. I walked up and open my locker, trying not to notice she was wearing the cologne I bought her for her birthday.

"How's today going, and why are you done class early?"

"I was called out to see one of the guidance teachers about my grades"

"What's wrong with them, are you failing?"

"I don't really care Ashley, now if you don't mind I want to go home"

"You still have a full day Spence"

"I don't care"

I wasn't trying to be rude to Ashley; I just really wanted to be alone for once. School, family, friends, Ashley they were all getting to me and I felt like I was being suffocated. I thought about how maybe I should join a sport, or just volunteer. Everything is slowly eating at me and I can feel myself slowly collapsing into a black hole. I knew I could try harder at school, but what's the point when I don't even know what I want to be when I'm done.

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R&R Please


	15. Chapter 15

_I do not Own South of Nowhere_

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**Chapter 15**

I watched the teens slowly as they gathered around the picnic table smoking, telling each other how tough they are like they had to prove themselves. I watched the one guy yell at some random teen just minding his own business, made me wonder why he did it. Why would someone wreck someone's day just for their own pleasure, why did people feel in the first place.

"Shouldn't you be in school?"

Shit.

"Hey daddio what's up?"

"School?"

"I decided to take a break, smell the fresh air for once"

My father walked over and took a seat next to me, handing me his hot dog. I looked over at him and he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. I took a bite and handed back his food, placing my hands in my sweater pockets. I knew what was coming and trust me I was ready for it, my father was going to go all CYW on my ass.

"So you came to the park to watch some teens break the rules, and pick on people?"

"Thought it would be a good place to forget about some stuff you know?"

"Yes I know what you mean?"

"Dad why didn't mom let me come with you to that outreach program?"

"What program?"

"Last year, you went to help out and mom wouldn't let me come with you"

"Oh that one, um well its complicated Spence"

"Really because I think it wasn't mom who didn't want me to come it was you"

I watched my father's hands come together and started to fidget, his head turned and looked away from me. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew my father was hiding something from me and my mother was taking the blame. I grabbed the bench and prayed that I was doing the right thing by asking my next question.

"Please dad tell me the truth for once"

"Go back to the school, no more skipping"

I watched him get up and slide his hands into his pockets and started to walk away, this was it. I knew if I didn't stop him then he would just make up more lies tomorrow. I stared at his back and pictured him laughing all the time, making us dinner in the middle of the night, teaching me how to play the guitar, showing me how to style my clothes. I let the tears fall as I remember the night when it all stopped, when our family fell apart.

"It's your fault isn't it?"

"What?"

"Mom didn't cheat on you! You broke her first didn't you! You broke our family before Glen and I even knew!"

"Spencer...let me"

"How could you just let mom take the blame, I hated her for being with David. When did this all start, TELL ME?"

"It started a few years ago, one of my clients shot himself in front of me. I spent a few days up at the cottage then came home better, so I thought. I started to get these nightmares and they wouldn't stop, so I would just stay up all night. I wanted to drink but I knew if I started I wouldn't be able to stop. I tried everything to distract myself, but I couldn't so I started to drink. It got bad where your mother wouldn't even look at me anymore, then we just stop acting like we were together."

"Why did you just divorce now?"

"Last year I wanted to fight for your mother so I said I would go to rehab, I told you it was that outreach program. When I got back there were a few weeks of happiness between all of us, remember?"

"Ya I remember, and then you and mom started to pull apart"

"I found out David was there to help your mother through everything, he was there to take her to church, give her a shoulder to cry on, and to just talk to her. Eventually your mother told me she was in love with him, and I knew deep down I could never love your mother enough like I did. Your mother disserves to be happy so I let her go. She already lost me and I wasn't going to let her loose you too"

"Why didn't you both just tell us the truth?"

"Glen knows Spencer; he found me one night at the bar. We all just didn't want this to affect your life, and your studies."

"Great, well it's too late"

"Spencer..."

"Don't"

I turned and saw the one person who promised to never leave, Ashley. I walked over and got into her jeep and buckled up, her hand took mine and we pulled out and drove away. I always wanted to run away, and this was one moment Ashley read my mind perfectly.

The end...

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R&R


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